Google Now: Awesome or Scary?

If you haven’t gotten the update for Google Now yet, or you don’t have a newer android phone, this probably won’t mean much to you.

Google Now is google’s version of Siri, minus the sexy robotic girl voice.  I think they kind of dropped the ball on that.

Google Now does all kinds of cool things.  For instance, if you go to a restaurant, it will tell you what the best dishes are at that restaurant. GPS tells it where you are, you don’t even have to say “I’m at Joe’s House of Kabob”.

When you’re driving to work, if there’s a traffic jam, it knows.  It knows (via GPS history) that you go to work at X place every monday – friday morning at 7:20 am.  So, at 7:10, google tells you there’s a wreck, and you should take this alternate route to work today.

If you have a lunch meeting on your google calendar, it knows that the restaurant is 25 minutes away under current traffic conditions, and so 30 minutes before lunch, it reminds you and presents you with a map to the lunch.

Maybe I’m glad it doesn’t talk.

“Kirk Allmond, your lunch with your publicist is in thirty minutes, you need to leave now.”

“Google, I’m stuck in this meeting, I’ll leave as soon as I can.”

“Kirk Allmond, You’re going to be late to your lunch.”

“Google…  I’m doing the best I can.”

“Kirk Allmond, If you don’t leave in thirty-three seconds, you’re going to be late.  And you know how much I hate being late.”

“Google!  WTF! SHUT UP!”

“Kirk Allmond, if you don’t want my help you can turn me off.”


“Kirk Allmond, your attitude has turned me off.”

“But Kirk,” you ask.  “What makes you think it would be that way?”

Have you ever used Google’s navigation?

“Make the next U turn.”

“Google, I don’t want to go that way.”
“Make the next U turn.”
“Make the next U turn.”
“Make the next U turn.”
“Make the next U turn.”
“Make the next U turn.”
“Make the next U turn.”

Google is insistent.  And it knows me better than almost anyone in the world.  Google has my email, my calendar, my contacts, all the places I ever go (navigation), and of course all my comments about various things via Google+.

I hear they’re changing their name to Skynet next year.

I’ll see you all at Resistance Headquarters,
– Kirk


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